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How Can Making the Bed Protect Your Child From Peer Pressure... and how to get them begging to do it

The 7 Essentials: #5 - A Culture of Leadership

The only thing harder than trying to get your children to stop fighting is to get them to clean their rooms! Unfortunately this isn't something children just grow out of. You haven't seen a messy room until you've experienced dorm life.

I have observed that those who take care of their own rooms, make their beds, and are responsible for their own items, tend to live more productive, successful lives. If they can be faithful in the small things, then I know I can trust them with larger responsibilities.

The fifth building block in the Rhinehart Hierarchy of People Empowerment (RHOPE) Strategy is a culture of leadership. This answers the question, “How do I get there?” Leadership provides ownership, significance and self-governance.

It is a skill every child must learn. Although there are obvious natural leaders, every child must learn to be responsible for themselves. This defuses peer pressure because students who are confident in their abilities are far more likely to empower others than get lost in the crowd.

Your Action Item

Your action item is to establish a culture of leadership in your home by giving your children chores and special responsibilities.

Chores require your children to be responsible for personal tasks. They also teach them how to care for others. Don’t just give your children chores, however. If you’ll do chores with them, you’ll reinforce almost all of the empowerment tools in the RHOPE Strategy.

In addition to personal chores, choose a special responsibility for each child, each week that is truly special. Perhaps this is the “Pillow Kiss” job that placing a candy kiss on each person’s pillow after they’ve made their bed. Maybe they are the table setter for a fancy meal and they get to help light the special candles with you.

Making it special makes it fun. I go into more detail on this in the third video.

I would also encourage some form of community service that you can do with your children, even if it’s just once a year. Serve in a food line, volunteer at school or church, be part of a fund raiser or relief shelter, rake your neighbor’s leaves or make cookies for their teachers. Service transforms your children from receivers to givers.

All My Best,


Parent Note: For every Heavenly principal there's an earthly application; like the two sides of a coin. You can apply one aspect or the other depending on your world view, but when both are applied the results are extraordinary. There are 7 Essential Elements required for children to be emotionally safe that happen to correspond with 7 critical aspects of our identity. They are intrinsic by nature. When these are satisfied, your children are much less likely to succumb to peer pressure because they are empowered with tools to meet their emotional (intrinsic/spiritual) needs.


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